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Nigerians love sex

Nigerians love sex
The average Nigerian is so obsessed with sex they sit waiting for the next sexcapade to drop their pants and cum all over the placeI have been following this current BBN with less enthusiasm than I did the last oneIn fact, I get most of the gist from the highlights on social mediaI will jump in full when it has gotten to the middleThat’s when the real drama starts unfoldingBBN is always sweetest in the middleBut the thing is, whenever I’m watching, nothing exciting happensBut when I don’t watch, I start seeing videos of fights, gossip, juicy revelations, and even sexAs though they are waiting for me to go off before they act dramaAnyway, back to the gist of the matterNigerians and sexI find it funny that when a man and a woman fuck, it’s the society that cums on their behalf!Worse, it is the woman that is draggedPraise and Ka3na fucked, yet bloggers started digging into Ka3na’s backgroundOn a scale of 10, Ka3na was gossiped at level 7 while Praise got level 3Now, Kid…
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Almost every married woman is in love, but not with their husbands

For some women, marriage is their greatest support system
In some cases, only support system
If every other thing fails, marriage is the last resort
I have a friend, she is engaged, and the date for her marriage has already been fixed
Her fiance lives abroad
They just got engaged because according to her, his mum wants him to marry an Imo state girl, and she is from Imo state.
That's his reason
Hers is... You will find out soon, keep reading...
Oga lives in Germany and my friend lives in Nigeria
She is so happy, in fact, the day he proposed, she almost fainted
Not out of love, even though she claimed it is

Be direct

Be direct! 
There's a sexiness, an allure, an attraction that comes with directness
Directness is a service that costs nothing 
Instead of expecting people to read your mind and figure you out
Be direct with your intentions 
Be direct with your expectations
Be direct with your demands
Be direct with your feelings
Be direct with your love
Be direct with your hate
Sometimes, just say it as you feel it
Negative or positive, be direct with your energy 
Don't be a riddle
Don't speak in proverbs or hints 
Be an open book for once 
Be direct with your confidence
And save yourself and everyone else, time
Be direct and save time! 

Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne

Be exceptional in your ordinariness

There are certain things you can bring to the table that mustn’t be skillsSometimes what you can bring to the table might just be speedOr a smileImagine every time you are sent on an errand you come back faster than others with a smile on your faceAnother time it might be tenacity, doggedness even resilienceYour employers know that if you are asked to go and get something, you must come back with resultsYou don’t mind going there every day until the people get tired of you and answer youSomething that has nothing to do with programming, IT, science or ArtsYou only have to distinguish yourself, not with skills but those things that doesn't require any special skills, but disciplineIt could be your sound attention to details in your tasksHow good you are when it comes to noticing and picking out the minutest thing in something as simple as writing reports or taking down minutes in a meetingOr how meticulous you are in the mail you sent, ensuring there are no errors at allYou never m…

Sweet Revenge

I and my neighbor had a misunderstanding over a minor topic
Uncle took it personal
Stopped greeting me, and even stopped answering my greeting
I wasn't pained, after all salutation isn't love, and besides, who greeting epp
The one that pained me is the fact that since our quarrel, he always comes back with bread for everybody in the compound except me
And he knows I love bread 
In fact, I love bread die
Bread is my best food
This uncle works in a bakery close to our compound, the biggest, where they sell the only kind of bread I eat
Sardine bread
The one that shocked me is that he stopped selling bread to me, and told his colleagues not to sell to me
It was that bad
Any time I go there to buy bread, if he is the one selling, he will tell me it has finished 
I will be seeing the hot, sizzling, fresh, sweet smelling, rich, succulent and Juicy bread with my two eyes 
Uncle will tell me it has finished 
Or it has expired, I will be like, give me like that, he will refuse and say it has spoilt ev…

The Law Man

kraaakkkk kaaaaaaaa krrrrrrrr!!!
Sounds of gunshots rendered the air as six policemen died, all tied to the drum and shot by their comrades.
Six corrupt policemen once again killed on the orders of the new police chief, totalling 600 since Nonso was elected Police chief read the Star Newspaper.
The biggest and most popular newspaper agency in the country.
Nonso holds the record as the youngest police chief in the history of the Nigerian police force.
And the most lethal.
He singlehandedly ended the reign of terror by the SARS operatives, totalling disbanding the unit, executing most of them to the dismay and utter disbelief of the local and international community.
How can one man weild so much power, and why is the presidency backing him up.
But Nonso was not just any man, Nonso was the man you called to clean up a mess and he did it without leaving a trace of stink nor stench.
At 35, his resume was a reflection of unsurpassable exploits and successe…

Be savage with your wealth

Be unapologetic about your comfort and luxuryEven if it is extravagantBe extravagantly unapologeticSome years ago, I was mentioned in a post where a mum visited her daughter with pomp and splendor in her schoolIt was her birthday and she came in with so much class and wealth, so much drip unlike the school had ever seenThe joy and excitement in the face of her daughter was pricelessThat was enoughIt was all the validation she needed even though she didn't need anyYet, if you read the comments from mothers, supposedly Christian mothers, it was expectedly averageLike the venom from the more average men and fathersThe poor will always mind every other person's business except theirs, that's why they are poorThey were bashing the mum for showing so much wealth, without considering the poor childrenThe actual fuckery!They were churning advice on how better she could have celebrated her daughter and spent her money as if she asked themThey were giving suggestions as if their opi…

This Lagos is Not Nice

Something to warm you up this wet Tuesday. 

The first time I came to Lagos, I had an uncanny impression that everyone is a criminal, and everybody you meet has violent tendencies 
Due to the kind of news we heard about Lagosians, I was prepared for the worst
I was surprised when I went to eat one sunny day after job hunting without success in a buka, still wearing my ironed neatly starched suit, I knew I was the best dressed in that raggedy place
So I crossed my legs and shouted with an air of authority and class, "waiter!" 
Everyone bursted out laughing 
Then three guys sitting close to me, moved closer and told me that there is no waiter here, it's Iya Ibeji, and her daughters name is Ibeji,
They smiled and told me to gently go to the front, wash my plate myself and queue up
I looked in horror, having just arrived from Abuja where I was living with my aunt
I said never, how can I wash my own plate ontop money I'm paying, never!!! 
I'll sit here and they will serve me, th…