Skip to main content

What A Ride!

By

After work, I jumped into a bus as few others climbed in after me and soon the bus drove off

I noticed the guy sitting by the window next to my left looked so sad, there was no trace of a smile on his face

I decided to cheer him up

Why I cared, I will never understand

"Hi stranger," I smiled

He didn't smile back, just looked at me wondered what had gotten into me

"What will I do to make you laugh?"

I asked

He smiled then

"See, progress!" I said and he laughed and showed yellow teeth

I wasn't discouraged, I was enjoying this game so I began telling him jokes and narrating my life story in a comical way

He was laughing and laughing all through the gist

Then he stopped laughing and looked at me in the eyes

" God please, do not toast me!"

I begged God in my mind aware that I will give him premium snubbing and shunning that might make him relapse back into depression

As if he read my mind, he started crying

"If you like cry blood, I will never ever even give you my number even if you use jazz... Not with that teeth sef." I said in my mind

"Why are you crying?" I summoned up the courage to ask

He looked at me and said, "I am a ritualist, and we just kidnapped you to use you for rituals, but you are so funny and nice, I don't feel like killing you again."

I wanted to laugh at the joke but you know that feeling you have that something is serious even though it doesn't appear serious

Then the realization hit me, throughout the bus ride, nobody alighted, and I was the only woman in the bus

I almost pissed in my pants, and it took the grace of God not to panic

"Nobody has made me laugh like this in a long time." he continued, wiping his face with his hands

"Thank you, sir!" I didn't know why I was thanking him but I was grateful he found me funny.

Then he shouted, "Stop the bus, now!"

The driver stopped

He looked at me and said, Come down here, go left, then turn right, you will see another bus stop, look well before you enter the next bus. Good night fine funny girl.”

I turned like a zombie and obeyed his command, I found the bus stop, waited and stopped okada

God will not allow me to enter bus ever again

Your money na #1500, meanwhile it's #250 journey to my house from there

I knelt down and thanked him and climbed the okada

Uncle was shocked

I will be nice to everyone from today, even my village people!

The End


Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Must Read You Must Read

By
Serial Ranter In the usual mad rush to beat the next available person and gain a seat inside the unusual scarce buses in the morning, I noticed an elderly man, standing helplessly and unable to compete with the younger and much more heavily built youths all around him. Men and women, even kids all rushing, stepping on themselves, pulling one another's clothes without a care in the world and hurling insults at one another without even bothering about the elderly man, standing hopelessly. Indeed this generation is worse then Sodom and Gomorrah I thought. I was sick to my stomach at the sight, so I walked up to him, asked him where he was headed and fortunately, he was heading my way, so I told him to stay close and waited for the next bus, and as it came, I fought like a wounded tiger, pushing and scratching and finally succeeded in securing one spot, immediately I gave it to him, he climbed in and I couldn't get in as the bus was filled up. I felt fulfilled that instan...
2 comments
Read more

Riotous Love

By
I have always found Tony, my boyfriend, fascinating His write-ups and rants about bad governance and patriarchy got me wet and awestruck every single time I visited his timeline  Whenever he wrote a piece on Facebook and Twitter, he got thousands of likes and comments I always read every comment, especially from women who were mesmerized by his writing prowess I was once part of such women until I decided to shoot my shot, and, like cupid, I hit him straight in the heart A simple "Hello, I've read and enjoyed all your stories, maybe you could write ours someday, hope I'm not overreaching?" I had to drink almost a full bottle of bailey's to find courage for that stunt, and today, we are celebrating 8 months of the best love story ever. He was my Mr. Perfect, everything I could ever ask for and more It wasn't surprising when he asked me to join him and go for the peaceful protest here in Lagos, and like a love-struck puppy, quickly I jumped up and said yes That ...
Post a Comment
Read more

While the torch Is lit, run with it

By
It’s hard to change your routine when you are a creature of habit. Habits formed from years of doing the same things over and over and over and over again. We get so comfortable with repeating schedules, we forget the magic of spontaneity and risk. The fun in chasing deals, pursuing forbidden love, romances unpersuaded or words left unsaid. Your dreams won't chase themselves. They need legs. How long are your legs. A wise man once said... Seeming is being. Stop being your own worst critic. Be your number one fan, first and your worst critic, last. You must have heard this a whole lot, life is short. Sounds like a cliché, right? You might laugh or think it's untrue, after all the world have been in existence for over 2000 years. You have also been hearing the same words since you were a child, now you are old and you are still hearing it. But think for a second, how old are you now? Was it not just a while ago you were a baby and still in your f...
2 comments
Read more