The Authorpreneur

Be unapologetic about your comfort and luxury Even if it is extravagant Be extravagantly unapologetic Some years ago, I was mentioned in a post where a mum visited her daughter with pomp and splendor in her school It was her birthday and she came in with so much class and wealth, so much drip unlike the school had ever seen The joy and excitement in the face of her daughter was priceless That was enough It was all the validation she needed even though she didn't need any Yet, if you read the comments from mothers, supposedly Christian mothers, it was expectedly average Like the venom from the more average men and fathers The poor will always mind every other person's business except theirs, that's why they are poor They were bashing the mum for showing so much wealth, without considering the poor children The actual fuckery! They were churning advice on how better she could have celebrated her daughter and spent her money as if she asked them They were giving suggestions as...

Something to warm you up this wet Tuesday.  The first time I came to Lagos, I had an uncanny impression that everyone is a criminal, and everybody you meet has violent tendencies  Due to the kind of news we heard about Lagosians, I was prepared for the worst I was surprised when I went to eat one sunny day after job hunting without success in a buka, still wearing my ironed neatly starched suit, I knew I was the best dressed in that raggedy place So I crossed my legs and shouted with an air of authority and class, "waiter!"  Everyone bursted out laughing  Then three guys sitting close to me, moved closer and told me that there is no waiter here, it's Iya Ibeji, and her daughters name is Ibeji, They smiled and told me to gently go to the front, wash my plate myself and queue up I looked in horror, having just arrived from Abuja where I was living with my aunt I said never, how can I wash my own plate ontop money I'm paying, never!!!  I'll sit here and they will s...

The day my mother told me I will be cooking, I was just 10 years old  I jubilated like Chelsea when they won champions league... In my dream I told all my friends Announced it in school  Started even dreaming about it  Finally, I will contribute to the food making my sister's were always feeling fly and bragging about  The King is entering the kitchen I gloated My sisters were not around, they had a sponsorship exam to write so they were out of town for two days Two days to the D-day I had already started reminding my mother to get the neccesary ingredients One day to go, I cancelled all my video game appointments and football competitions  On the D-day...  I hardly slept that night, in fact I didn't sleep at all Was up preparing and planning the size, quantity and taste of the meal I was going to prepare  I woke up like it was Christmas and my birthday on the same day  Showered and brushed Entered the kitchen very early, I checked the time, 6:55a...

The chairs creaked as we all sat down to make merry as my soon to be father in law called it. This was a tradition for them, a way to get to know the groom, the bride's way.  We sat down in the old family dining table.  Everyone was squeezed together as the table was not that big.  My girlfriend sat directly opposite me, her dad was by her side, and because of how closely we sat, I couldn't look directly at her without also looking directly him.  It was quite an uncomfortable position, and not one I cherished as the dad was as stern and strict as a military general who loved his daughters like a mother hen, and saw every guy as a threat or a competition.  When we began dating, I had to hide from him several times, in fact one time I had to jump from her window when he came back unannounced.  He owned a gun and it was general knowledge that he wasn't afraid to use it.  I held my breath when she told me about this tradition of hers, and so I decided to p...

Why I made it!!!  So I honored the invitation for an interview I got online after I left my last job due to the wickedness and psychological trauma I suffered in the hands of my female boss.  I began to have a phobia for women in power.  The interview was slated for 9am, by 7am I was already seated to the amusement of the secretary abi receptionist.  In fact, I came before her as she arrived by 7:30. When it was 8:30, two other people came in, and surprisingly we were just 3 by 9am. Apparently it was going to be between the 3 of us. I was excited as I hated those interviews were a dozen or more people were vying for 1 position. The boss came in by 12pm, I was almost passing out from hunger as I didn't eat and I didn't have any extra cash with me except my transport fare.  I simply thought that las Las by 11am, I would be through so I can go and warm my yesterday's indomie hungryman size and eat.  By 1pm the guy who came last was called first to my shock and...

She stood looking at him with tears in her eyes.  She felt guilty, wicked, dirty and every other terrible feeling she could describe, yet, what was she supposed to do?  She had no place to go to, and no one to turn to, and again she was afraid of her husband.  He was after all a very powerful and  dangerous man!  "My husband, please consider our own daughters and sons too." She pleaded again, trying hard to convince him not to go out as usual for his daily routine and job.  "Who do you think I'm doing all this for, my intestines? I do what I do to give them the best life, I do all these to give you the good life. This is the only thing I know how to do, this gift has been in my family for 9 generations, and you want me to give it up for who, what, why? Useless children who will still become useless in life!" He paused and looked at her with anger,  she moved back with trepidation.  "I only care about my family and children, that is why I make sure...

The entitlement mentality is a deep seethed cancer growing in most Nigerians without them even knowing It materializes the second they help you out Kindness is tied to worship Until you bow down and worship in thanksgiving for a little help given, the typical Nigerian is not satisfied They want you to acknowledge them for the most basic help Google can offer Why didn't you ask Google then, the simpletons will ask... Sometimes you feel more trusting to a familiar human than a habitual search engine So you seek assistance from a man not a machine, but flesh and bones will always be flesh and bones At least Google or AI doesn't care if you say thanks after it solves your problem In fact, it's satisfaction is complete when you rate it 5 stars from a seamless experience But not the typical Nigerian You must submit yourself and worship at their feet when help is rendered A friend I considered close always came to me for her emotional and psychological needs I never charged her fo...

When you are rich even your dreams will be rich You will dream of international cuisine, foreign countries, foreign investors, electronic houses and smart cars Your mindset will reflect in your attitude When your mind is rich You will stop having poor dreams Look, everything has energy The energy around you will pull the life that is consistent with it Wealth and luxury will begin to gravitate towards you So surround yourself with the life you desire Surround yourself with rich and wealthy friends, expensive clothes, and even your dreams will be expensive Stop wearing cheap clothes, stop drinking cheap beer, stop hanging around poor people I don’t mean disadvantaged There is a difference between disadvantaged and poor Poverty is a mindset, so quit hanging around people who are mentally and intellectually poor You are not poor, local, average and basic so flee from anything that reeks of that This is why motivational speakers don’t appeal to some audience They can’t relate They cannot c...

“DING!!!” The elevator bell dinged softly and it opened.  A young dark man wearing a nice pair of pants over a casual buttoned-up shirt strolled in, and with a smile, he leaned just casually against the rear wall in a posture of ultimate anxiety. First date, Agatha guessed, she has a lot of experience in that department. “What floor please?” he asked. His voice a soothing bass for his rather big size.  “Ground floor.” She replied automated. “Leaving already are we?” he asked with slight humor in his voice, not expecting a reply but not used to not getting one either. “You are, I’m not. Just getting a package downstairs.” She regretted that extra bit of detail as soon as it got out, but heck, she found his company a relief from the familiar distasteful pretentious one above. “Who gets a package delivered to a supposedly official boring function?” he asked with that same smug look and attitude that was more boyishly cute than annoying.  “A seminar. “she corrected, then adde...

A woman can fail in life and still succeed at motherhood Womanhood is a blessing  Manhood is a challenge, a charge!!!  Motherhood for most women is another way, a much easier route  For men, the only way is the one they break their backs carving A man will give a woman  A woman will give a woman  Nobody will give a man because he is expected to just have, and to give He is not a man if he does not have He is not a complete man if he does not have enough to give A woman is sympathized with for not having A man is disgusting for not having to give Unconditional love is dependent on gender  No man is loved unconditionally Every man is loved under a condition, contribution!!!  A woman is loved for just breathing  A woman can drop out of school, out of her job, drop her ambitions, even quit trying just to be a mother  Because motherhood will always have a place for her Doesn't matter how old or how young she is It will always accept her with open ...

Do you know why despite your good and noble intentions some landlords and co-tenants will never accept you You can never please them even when you decide to try extra hard Relax... It's not you, it's them The upper and middle/lower class can never be camaraderie 9 times over 10 They can never be friends Poverty is their culture Some people are resigned to that culture they can never escape it They can never think big Even if you take a lizard to America, it won't become an Alligator there It will still be a lizard Nodding to every challenges, never biting big to taste freedom They are lizards, and can never aspire to gator just the ghetto They only thrive in the ghetto but you, you will go beyond the gates and prosper They know this therefore your very success is an affront to them You both share different realities  You are a constant reminder that they are failures...  Especially if you are a young, single working class lady living in a face me I slap you compound, and tr...

Someone shared a beautiful nugget The first table to break is comforTABLE So I added a second... The second is RelaTABLE Stop relating to people's experiences and expectations. Create your own experience & form your own expectations. Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne 

Being a good wife doesn't make you a good woman You can be a great mother and still be a terrible human being Even Serial killers and ritualists have families who would give their lives for them  The fulani herdsmen and Boko Haram terrorists have mothers who will die for them too The devil didn't make them, they were born, loved at some point, and got twisted then demonized  Motherhood or marriage is never an excuse to lose your humanity  Lying and defending your husband when he is accused of rape, knowing fully well that he is guilty is a good example of a bad wife Covering your son's rape charges instead of reporting him and allowing him face the law, is you being a protective mother and a demonic human being  Doting on your kids and giving them all they want while subjecting your maid to abuse, hunger and maltreatment is you being a good mom but an evil human being  I read the story of a girl who was constantly abused by her madam and maltreated until the hus...

Okay, Let's talk...  A good skill is like a good f^ck, you must cum when you experience it Don't get wet yet I'm still stroking the truth A skill is like a pant line  If it doesn't wow or awe at first glance, it's not properly worn Like a ladies pant line, we can all see it but we can't just walk up and touch it, except with due consent  The greater your skill, the more obvious your pant line is Whenever you go out or meet people, you are being priced  Whether you like it or not It's up to you to put a price tag on your ass, or be tagged average Your price Tag depends on how versatile and knowledgeable you are This kind of authority doesn't come cheap nor easy It's not even legal, it's lethal!!!  Until you grow to premium standard, and your opnion becomes a reference point Nobody will price you higher than you  So whenever you go out, think like a prostitute  See everyone as an actual f^ck A prostitute only see customers A marketer see prospects ...

The punishment for rape should be death! Rape is not just forcefully having sex with an unwilling partner First you steal her right to consent  and choice! Then you murder her will by breaking her physically, physcologically, emotionally, mentally and sexually! You take everything from her just to release venom inside her! Put her life at risk in the process with STD and unwanted pregnancy  No is No Stop is Stop Don't is Don't  No reason is reason enough No justice is justice enough  No punishment is punishment enough  Incarceration is not enough, the punishment for rape should be death or castration  Enough is enough!!! Silence is not always the best answer, in some cases silence is a crime even worse than the actual violence.... In this case, if the church does not speak up already, or condemn this evil... Silence is the actual lowest fuckery!  I'll block every rape apologists and religious bigots, and fanatics. Once I smell you, I erase you like the...

In America a black man is killed, and there is an uproar in America!!!  The noise is so loud the whole world hears it The match was lit in small part of a large city, the people were so vexed they blew hot air and the smoke traveled all over the world Now, across the Atlantic and pacific, across Continents and race, countries and states, we all want to identify and join the struggle It's racism, white against black and we are blacks so we must get involved after all blacklives matter But do we even know the implications of black lives matter or we just say it to chase clout and sound woke? People even use the hashtag to appear woke Tina is dead shot to death by a drunk policeman and I just found out...she was 16 Uwa was raped and bludgeoned to death inside Church!!!! She was 22, an undergraduate!!!  She wasn't half naked, wasn't inside club, wasn't following bad gang... She went to church to read and she was raped and killed... Her life snuffed ouf of her... Ask why she...

Do you know there are some men that don't flush after using the convenience! Whether solid or liquid They don't flush I never knew until recently I couldn't fathom the very idea that someone, an adult not a child, will use the toilet and stand up, or walk away without flushing Imagine a husband like that His wife will be faced with his shitty business every single day In fact some women are now used to it, it's normal to them They have been domesticated to the level of being lower than goats Feed the woman grass on the altar of patriarchy and she will eat it with stew just to be tagged virtuous Should we tell them? Aunty, it's not normal The fact that you do it regularly for uncle doesn't make it normal It is disgusting and filthy How in God's name can someone marry such a person, because I am sure you noticed this diabolical habit while you were dating A woman was sick and tired of flushing her husband's shit, so she reported to her mum Her mother told ...