This is my own two cent!
It is not the responsibility of the boyfriend or husband to cater to the financial needs and lack, of his spouse family
The fact that I'm in a relationship with you doesn't mean I have to train your brothers and sisters in school or complete your father's uncompleted building
The man should only be responsible to his wife and their children, not her father, mother or siblings and relatives
Except he chooses to freely support and assist, not shoulder...there's a difference.
Otherwise, he's not obligated to perform in that capacity.
Neither is it the responsibility of the woman to assume the role of a dishwasher and chef whenever she visits the man's family home
This rule applies to both genders.
Yes!!!
It is not even the duty of the woman to cater to the financial demands of her own immediate family!
I shudder when I see young girls as young as 21 taking care of their not so aged parents and younger ones
In fact, I came across a publication that said a man ought to marry a strong wife, a true African daughter who can take care of her parents and her husband's parents too, serve her husband, prepare his food, wash and iron his clothes with other personal needs while also taking care of the children and their needs, supporting the man as he works and provides money, shelter, security and food.
I laughed so hard at the backyard publication and belief
Some cow brained people will say it's our culture
But I say, suffering and long-suffering is not a culture.
My daughters will know better and believe better!!!
When I read shitty posts like a woman is not just marrying a man but his family and community, I cringe
I have a friend, the negligence and abandonment was so much, she left her parents house at 19 to the city to hustle, but the responsibility and pressure on her 19 years old shoulder was too much, she had to succumb to peer pressure and started using her body so her mother can get a cheque any bloody time she called to whine like a sissy
Guess what... Her mom is still in her 40's and has three boys from another useless man she remarried after her father woke up one day and strolled out of the house and marriage.
She used to joke with me that her father left the whatsApp group and another man joined.
That's what she called her parents marriage... A whatsApp group!
Her mother can't get a job but she can get the dick!
When we met, she was in her mid twenties, it took a lot of counseling and bad-mouthing from me to get her to stop sending money home and instead save
It was hard but she did it... She finally stopped, saved enough to start a legit hustle and with the contacts she made, she left the country legitimately.
Today, she's in a better place and mental space, completely ostracized from her immediate family.
She stopped sending money home and her mother, step brothers, step father and biological father did not die/are not dead.
Now to them she's dead, but guess what... She has never been more alive!!!
You are dating one person not the family
You are married to one person, not the family
Out with that communal average school of thought
It is the duty of the parents to care for their own family first not wait for in-law to come and perform their roles
Parents don't give birth to a child you can't train, so you won't give out a child you couldn't train in exchange for something you can't afford.
Marriage is now trade by barter, wife for financial assistance
The woman should remain single or with her parents until she is independent enough. She shouldn't become a girlfriend, a wife or a mother.
The man should care for himself or live with his parents, if he can't, he should remain a single man until he can. Not a boyfriend, not a husband and definitely not a father!!!
Nobody should be responsible for another adult and still be responsible for their parents and family too
If you must help, it should be out of kindness and a benevolent nature to show love, not because you are obligated by marriage
Expecting otherwise is diabolical
We must learn to understand that there is no role in a relationship or marriage, there is only a part to play.
Some people will read this and believe I said it is bad for a man to help his wife's family, or wrong for a woman to help her husband's family... If you fall in this category, you are slow... Fall out!
Let's share the grace
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
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