Don't Spare the Rod if it will correct the child

I have said it countless times, there is no proven manual or textbook parenting style that works for everyone.

To each their own!

Every parent must adopt a unique style and approach that fits their own reality

You cannot be a poor Nigerian parent living in the ghetto and slums, and adopt a rich parenting Banana Island approach with your kids

It won't work 

No matter how hard you try, the forces of nature and conditions will always be against you

You can't talk or ground your child when they smoke pot, or mix with the wrong crowd in the slums or face me I slap you yard

You have to adopt a style that is commensurate with the environment and foundation your kids are exposed to

That is spanking or flogging once in a while or as at when due!

Yes... 

I don't subscribe to flogging kids to correct them

But I understand what needs to be done, needs to be done.

This is Nigeria, if you don't beat your kids in an average, basic environment to correct them,  society will beat the shit out of them without mercy

Yours, they will survive because it's out of love and empathy 

But society won't give a shit about them and will most definitely kill them! 

I watched the video of the dad who was slapping the son for failing after spending and amount equivalent to 8 million naira on his education

I felt the dad didn't beat him enough and I was more upset at the mum for recording it and making the dad look like the villian

You need to grow up poor or under privilege and struggle to work and earn every single dime to understand why it is important your kids succeed. 

You need to be born outside the political elite class in Nigeria, to understand that for your kids,  failure is not an option 

If slapping and spanking them to put the fear of God in them at a particular level Is what it takes, then it is what it is!

Every child is different and society changes too

We adapt to society, society doesn't adapt to us

Every generation is different and parenting approach or style must evolve with the times and season 

The fact that you grew up with scars from being belted and spanked, doesn't mean your kids have to experience the same

You might have grown up at a time where food and clothes were a luxury, so your parents had to do what they had to do, and so mistakes or failure was met with extreme measures and disciplinary action

But you rose above that life, now you have all the luxury and privileges life can offer, your kids don't need to experience the same parental approach your parents used on you

Your class and environment will dictate the approach and strategy to be deployed 

It's time to adopt a more civilized and fashionable approach 

Talking and grounding 

Yes,  you can't relocate to the abroad and want to be flogging or screaming tour lungs out to correct your child 

That is a developed society, you will be branded an animal and your kids taken from you by the state...yes the state is equipped to cater for your kids better than you 

But this is Nigeria, and failure is equivalent to death

The system and government isn't moduled to manage basic or average

The system isn't built to empower you

The state isn't equipped with shit

Here, the government kills and eats its own 

But a more developed country like the US, France, England... Etc, have a more organized and friendly administration that will support and empower basic and average

So the parenting style of such countries can afford to be relaxed and see the rod as barbaric and extreme

But this is Nigeria, the rod is part of our civilization for now

Because this is the kind of society we live in 

One where if you grow up a failure, the system will forsake and ostracize you 

The system will neglect and watch you become a criminal, armed robber, pregnant teen, motor park tout, yahoo guy or SARS... Only to be shot and killed tomorrow, or even burnt alive by an angry mob. 

That's your reality 

So when your parents flog and spank you silly, it is because they understand the options you don't understand 

They see the choices available, you don't 

So fear, anger, frustration, poverty and love is expressed from the end of the belt or the blow from a slap

So long as our country is unforgiving to failures, spare the rod and spoil the child

Until such a time when we have a government that can support and assist a failing child, or a state that will tolerate one till they rise above their failures...adopting a western approach to an African problem will never be the solution.

Every society speaks a language, speak the one your child understands and will respond faster and better to. 

Don't spare the rod if it will correct the child.

Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne