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How Much Do You Hate Yourself

How much do you hate yourself?

That you would allow a man bring out the worst part of you at a time when you should be living your best life.

You would bathe, eat and dress up, leave your kids at home with the sole intention of going to fight a very young girl your husband has been cheating on you with.

You probably went through his phone, then started investigating the girl, all the while you are still cooking for your husband and praying he eats your food and not her own.

You wash his clothes, the ones he wore to her house or out on a date with her.

You know these things because you have been keeping close tabs.

Then at night, you lie down and allow him to fuck you with the same preeq he used on her and others too numerous to count.

You whisper you love him, beg him never to leave you, remind him about how much you have been taking care of his kids, you swear your faithfulness, loyalty and dutifulness again, and still he doesn't even make you cum, he just cums in you and dozes off.

Putting your life at risk

You know this

In the morning, you still prepare breakfast for him in bed.

Then you leave the house at noon, hoping to catch the side chic in ShopRite shopping according to your paranoia, with his money.

And then you disgrace yourself and the girl, shouting at the top of your lungs and fighting dirty in public.

No more shame

No more dignity

Meanwhile the man is somewhere else, toasting someone new in a cozy, private gentleman's club.

After fighting and screaming with the side chic, you go back home to cook, clean and pray your husband leaves her for good and come back to you.

You go back like a dog to its vomit

You go back to this same man that would beat you at the slightest provocation

Cheat on you with the closest short skirt available

Disrespect and abuse you emotionally, psychologically and physically.

Yet, you don't say a word to him, you don't at all, instead you cry and go down on your knees in prayer

Your Pastor tells you to pray for him and your marriage

He's weak, be strong in faith they tell you.

Yet he is strong enough to beat you like a drum

He's a baby, be his mother...

Meanwhile his mother is alive and you have a real baby for him.

So with your husband, you go to the warroom

But with the side chic, you are the warrior, the fighter, Mohammed Ali!

One of life's mystery is why a woman will fight a girl her husband is sleeping with but will cook and lie down to be fucked by the man, without saying a word to him.

Sleeping with the enemy, I call it.

Only a cow carries it's own killer to the slaughter house to be slaughtered.

Quit being a cow

Develop wings and fly away as the eagle, soar to heights your husband cannot attain and aspire to.

And be free

The man will never change

But you, you have already changed.


Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne

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