Don't Marry a Man who cannot wash his own clothes or Clean up after his own meal

™
A friend of mine woke me up with a story...

Her mum's birthday was that Sunday and she wasn't gonna wish her a happy birthday because she was upset with her.

She spent the entire Saturday night Cooking and preparing fried rice, salad dressing and different assorted meatballs and chicken.

By the time she woke up that Sunday morning, her mum had gone to church.

It wasn't long when she heard the door bell ring, it was a visitor.

The stranger had come to make enquires about a vacant flat the mum had decided to rent without her knowledge.

She was shocked!

Apparently, the mum had decided to rent the vacant flat and didn't even discuss it with her nor seek her opinion, instead she was waiting for the elder brother to come during the afternoon for her birthday party so she could seek his opinion and advice.

The mum didn't even bother informing her to know at least if she was comfortable about the decision to rent the house.

Mind you, my friend is a master degree holder from a reputable university, she is about going for her P.H.D and had come to spend sometime with the mum even before the Christmas celebration, and is always coming around because she is close to the mum and being the last daughter, she was not yet married.

She is not a child but a very smart, intelligent, ambition driven young very beautiful independent lady.

She was so hurt she decided not to wish the mum happy birthday and so she reached out to me.

"KD, is it my fault that I'm a girl?
 I'm very hurt...she said.
Am I being petty?

"No you are not being petty."
I replied.

"You are in your right to be hurt, so express your hurt as best as you can without being confrontational."

"Your mum is from a generation where patraichy was the only option available, it was the only idealogy they understood and were constantly exposed to."

"Their time, so long as u have a cock you are wisdom personified."

"It doesn't matter the number of degrees you have and certificates, so long as you don't have a penis, you are not qualified enough for such kind of non-kitchen related discussions."

The older generation are from a time where women are only good for food, kitchen, house chores and child bearing.

Not even sex...sex is for irresponsibile whores

Child bearing is for wives.

You don't fuck to enjoy, you fuck to born plenty pikin to carry the family name.

I mean, she was cooking and baking all the while, I bet the mum would be giving advise on how to fry the rice well and boil the meat properly.

When it comes to renting vacant flat and how much to charge, she will wait for the brother to come so she can talk with him.

This is a lesson to us all

How do you want your children to remember you?

What image do you want them to have of you?
But most importantly...

What kind of daughters do you want to raise?

Do you want daughters that will be tying wrapper 24/7 and cooking jollof rice like you did?

Or do you want daughters that will lead and be known for being a boss lady and making the hard decisions without waiting for the input of a man.

How do you want your daughters to be defined

Since, perhaps time has expired for you.

Your daughters still have a choice

But if it's not...then ask yourself

How do I want to be remembered and known?

Do you want to be known for being an expert at baking cake and frying chicken?

Or do you want to be known for giving intelligent repsonses, solutions and opinions on serious-minded subjects.

The answer is now!

Train your daughters to take charge in the classroom not just the kitchen.

Train them outside the kitchen

Teach them to know that the kitchen is not the place of the woman, but of the hungry.

The kitchen and bedroom isn't the place of the woman...

It is the place of the hungry and horny!

If your sons are hungry don't send your daughters to the kitchen, if you can't go yourself send your sons to go themselves!!!!

If they finish eating don't send your daughters to wash their dishes, if you can't go yourself, send them to go themselves!!!

Teach your daughters STEM and build their confidence not just how to grind egusi so it won't leave seed or fry plantain so it won't get burnt

Teach them to read and write more than how to cook and clean

If the house is dirty, it is the duty of the responsible, hardworking, well trained and neat child to tidy it up

Not the girlchild

If the clothes are dirty and the kitchen sink is smelly or filled with dirty dishes

It is not the duty of the girlfriend to wash her man's clothes and tidy his kitchen

Don't marry a man who cannot wash his own clothes or clean up after his own meal

Infact make your man learn how to cook if his parents failed to teach him, and make him learn to wash his own dirty clothes or buy a washing machine

The girlchild is not good for washing and cleaning

The girlchild needs to eat, play, rest and be cared for as much as the boy child.

It is not the duty of the girlfriend to baby-sit her boyfriend (it's already too late for the wives)

It is not the duty of the girlchild to baby-sit the boychild

Don't continue where your mother's failed, don't fail your children like your mother's failed themselves first, then you.

Remember, you know better now and you have the access they didn't have.

Their failure is understandable, but you... what's your excuse?


© Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne