Aggression!!!
That's the only Language average Nigerians, Lagosians to be specific, understand!
In a country where average and simpletons are in the majority
Understanding this truth early enough.
Saves you a lot of time and high blood pressure.
Knowing this early enough increases your life span.
You go to the bank expecting first class service...
After all, it's your money, right...
Wrong!
You are greeted with the worst sloppy and rude service from the snobbish, uncouth cashiers.
Firstly, you stand on a ridiculously long queue, by the time it gets to your turn, you are drained of all energy, the little you have is depleted by the nastiness of the guardians of your money!
Customer service is a nightmare is no myth.
It is the reality of many Nigerians.
The word "Customer service" is a scam in Nigeria
It should be "Customer Serve-us."
You can actually see them gisting right before you, and then they make it appear like you are interrupting them by being just there.
The nerve of these Thanos of our bank accounts!
They respond harsh to you because you are interrupting their very important unimportant gossip.
Or worse, they leave their seats with people standing and waiting, and maybe go for lunch break or just climb upstairs for a quick nap
Who knows where they go to during working hours.
Leaving in their wake a long, tired, confused and angry mob of money owners wondering if, not when they will get their money back.
After all, it's just 100k right?
The funny thing is, their salary doesn't measure to the money you are depositing.
But they have counted millions
So somehow they feel privileged
Whereas you, depositing or withdrawing thousands, is of a lower class, beneath their status by proximity.
Except of course you are a very obviously rich Dangote, Alakija or Otedola.
Then it's the bank manager or MD that will attend to you...
You go to the hospital, and it's a different ball game.
The game changer!!!
It's worse than the dish the bank serves.
It's much more hotter!
The Matrons, doctors and nurses are the devil's incarnate.
They probably work with Lucifer to send souls to him a lot more faster than it would have taken nature.
The two most dangerous places to be in Nigeria
Police station comes first... there's no competition for that spot.
The second is, Hospital!
General or private...they are all the same!
I call them, Mortuaries waiting to happen.
These two takes the icing on the cake.
You are better off dead on arrival
Then having to live through and endure the horror of these so called health care and security systems.
The systems are beyond flawed.
If you have never been sick enough to go to the hospital, or lucky enough to land in the police station...Thank God!!!!
It is enough evidence that God exists..."this to my atheist acquaintances."
The cost of customer service is less than naira and Kobo at its lowest.
I was at a club on the mainland
This time around the reverse was the case.
We got there and thirty minutes later, we were not served yet.
Despite chilling in the VIP section
We were still invisible
Until we had to shout and make noise
Then we were seen.
It seems if you are in regular, with the much larger crowd, you are served a lot faster because they see you, all of you, and work like flies to attend to your thirst!
But if you are in the VIP, you have to beg to be seen!
The second we spoke the language of aggression.
We were seen
Then the attendees were scampering around, fighting to take our orders.
You go to the bank and the second you scream out your frustration.
The manger jumps down and gives you the special treatment usually reserved for the rich and high profile individuals like The Authorpreneurs.
Why must we have to degenerate into animals to be noticed.
Why should we act wild to get premium quality service.
We paid for it.
Why do we have to fight to get it?
It's sickening.
But then, if you need to bark to be heard, don't meow.
If you need to Roar to be seen, don't bleat.
So finally our orders were taken and we were served premium quality in the end.
Because we had to speak the language of aggression.
Wherever you are going to, especially in Lagos
Learn to speak the language they understand.
It will save you a lot of stress and time.
Don't speak English when you should be speaking maddish or crazinish...
Else, your case na seefinish!
Learn to speak the language they understand
This tip is premium free
Enjoy it.
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
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