My Rock Of This Age

My rock of this age

Master of my rage

Our love was no scam

It was a bestseller from the second we met on the gram

From Facebook to Twitter,

Our friendship grew deeper

From WhatsApp, we arranged our first dinner

There I confessed I was love sick, and you alone were my sexual healer

What started as a game, is now 100 percent sure bet

Our feelings grew, like Nigeria's foreign debt

No connection, yet I found you in one search faster than the internet

You make me do the impossible, with a smack of your lips

My penis defies gravity, goes up and never comes down, with the roll of your hips

I've always loved vain things, trust me I'm not narcissistic

Mundane things irritate me, I will only thrust you if you pack a load of spontaneity

I didn't mind you were materialistic

My income wasn't dull, it was artistic

I like it when the lips glow

In response to my hello

And the eyes go

brighter than the angels halo

You claimed your worth was costlier than gold and silver

I was willing to pay for a body whose depth ran deeper than a river

In the end I couldn't part your thighs with my rod

Maybe, because I wasn't Moses and you weren't God

You were the serpent who led Moses astray from God's plan

Deceiving me into believing I was your only man

Unlike Moses, I didn't even see the promised Land

I only felt your pant when you guided me down there by my hand

The day I lost my job was the saddest day of my life

Yet your indifference and nonchalance when I cried, hurt worse than a cut from a knife

It's been one year since we broke up

Just because I peeped under your crop top

I've stalked and watched your hips grow

With my savings you stole, to craft your butt the perfect O

God punish you, I pray

Oh please get a job or tell me something new, you say

Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne

Comments

Solomon's Lair!

Rated 18 Solomon's lair I almost refused to go for the birthday party this year. Solomon always hosted a party every year, and as usual, I always gave the opening speech and acted as the MC too. I hated the drama and fake smiles all around. Each year, new faces present, old faces absent. New Friends present, Old friends lost, only me stagnant. I was always present as the best friend, the loyal soldier, meanwhile I was notoriously known for not celebrating my own birthday. It was so bad that most of my friends didn't even know my date of birth, just my age. Yes, it was that bad! It was an exhausting exercise for me. The cake and speeches, by God I hated the hypocrisy. So this year I swore to him by the old gods and new, that I wasn't gonna be in the spotlight of his special day. I just wanted to drink and chill quietly in solitude. Surprisingly, without any fuss, he obliged me. ''Obi is now a man o'' I smiled. ...

Riotous Love

I have always found Tony, my boyfriend, fascinating His write-ups and rants about bad governance and patriarchy got me wet and awestruck every single time I visited his timeline Whenever he wrote a piece on Facebook and Twitter, he got thousands of likes and comments I always read every comment, especially from women who were mesmerized by his writing prowess I was once part of such women until I decided to shoot my shot, and, like cupid, I hit him straight in the heart A simple "Hello, I've read and enjoyed all your stories, maybe you could write ours someday, hope I'm not overreaching?" I had to drink almost a full bottle of bailey's to find courage for that stunt, and today, we are celebrating 8 months of the best love story ever. He was my Mr. Perfect, everything I could ever ask for and more It wasn't surprising when he asked me to join him and go for the peaceful protest here in Lagos, and like a love-struck puppy, quickly I jumped up and said yes That ...

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