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Saved From The Gutters


Today...
Breakfast was selfish
It was deliberate
But dinner was delish
It wasn't planned
In between life was hellish!
This is not a poem, trust me.
I just needed a great intro to this narrative!
Everyone is writing these days
And Nigerians are beginning to read
It fuels my hope
Burns my faith
So I am here wondering how to say what I need to say.
And write it exactly as my thoughts project it.
And not bother about what people will think.
People!
I wonder what life would be like without people.
People are the worst things that ever happened to people.
Look at the gutter in Japan.
Fishes, assorted species...
Colorful fishes swimming happily inside the gutter.
Until I stumbled across this picture, I never knew gutter could be this way.
I have always imagined gutter as a place of trash and shit.
Where drunken men, touts, people who are so pressed, rush to and relieve themselves.
Where traders and sick psychos who dress responsibly, look left and right, then right and left, and quickly dispose of their waste, like criminals.
Then lastly, where the lowest simpletons defecate or throw feces inside.
To imagine fishes drinking gutter water and surviving, hell even thriving, is almost as imagining me drinking gutter water.
This is Japan and this is one gutter water you can drink.
Pictures like this make you wonder!
God, what mistake could be greater than being born a Nigerian and in Nigeria at this time, this era, this season!
The winter that came destroyed all...
Everything fell!
The Night king won and we are all night crawlers.
Crawling blindly to oblivion.
Have you ever imagined being the only one alive, with just animals and plants?
Bliss!!!!
The only species that has the privilege of knowing this feeling is a writer!!!
And a poet... Think God I am both!!!
I'm not cynical...I'm just not human anymore right now, right here, in this country.
Being Human will get you depressed
Being depressed will get you suicidal
Being suicidal will get you dead!
Being human in Nigeria makes you weak and spiritual.
If you are weak, you are in trouble.
But if you are spiritual, you are finished!
Everyone else is either inhuman or crazy.
Me, I'm not human and I'm not everyone too.
I am crazy!
Some are crazy and are roaming the streets...
Some are crazy and are in church, carrying God on their head, meanwhile baba God just want to stay in heaven and be left alone.
Others like me, we are crazy with our art, honing our craft!
Our craziness is expressed with our art and craft!
While the world is settling down and planning the next big bang!
Our president is jettisoning out to teach the Arabs how to combat terrorism!
I mean...does he even have the right to an opinion?
With Boko Haram, Fulani herdsmen, and SARS...does he have the right to an opinion?
We can't even combat mosquitoes
And the number one man wants to lend his tiny voice in the big league!!!
Yet people sat, stood, planned and cast their votes to the gutters!
Not this gutters you see in this narrative!
Our health care is so pathetic, lives are as cheap as #500
Yes, with #500 you can bribe a full grown adult female nurse to switch your appointment up with the doctor to a more favorable date in a general hospital!
Or #200 to jump the queue and see the doctor before those that came before you totaling over 100 on an early Tuesday morning.
Another pastor is impregnating 20 women in his church...mothers, daughters, sisters, nieces, wives and even slay queens... And he didn't rape any of them.
They opened their eyes and legs and said... Daddy fuck me, Jesus!
Tueehh!!!
Now the Ooni of Ife boards a plane and constitutes a nuisance on board!
People are clapping, it's our culture.
A grown ass man does something as simple as entering a plane, and he makes a drama out of it!
Imagine if he invents a flying bike or cures AIDS!
It's so funny, one traditional ruler boards a plane with the fanfare of the Queen of England, ironically even her majesty wouldn't do that.
Witchcraft and aircraft...finally it makes sense.
We must pull ranks everywhere we go, like MTN even though the service we render is shit and vomit.
End game was released and it made Hollywood billions of dollars
In Nigeria, People spent millions, record-breaking millions, to consume it!
It was a red carpet affair in cinemas as our Nollywood stars went to consume what their mates did!
While the actors, directors, and Nollywood are lazily waiting and spending money on someone's else's creativity and innovative genius.
Someone with a brain and head like them.
Somewhere in this same dark continent, some species of people are making history, spending money to throw GOT costume party, slaying, meanwhile, Nollywood keeps dishing out movies per second...with titles like, "Am I a yahoo boy, credit alert?"
Slaying another Man's creative Ingenuity with a mediocre abnormality.
Breakfast was selfish, I didn't share it.
Dinner was delish, potatoes and stew with a bottle of red wine afterward.
In between, I had to meet people, talk to people and laugh with people. Hellish!
It's time to cut off from as much mediocrity and insanity as you can muster.
The Moral hypocrisy and religious disparity is simply...hellish!
But how can you cut off from within
Cut out and flee!
Flee and run as fast as your legs can carry you!
Creativity dies here!
Innovation disappears here!
There is no drama no energy!
Just mediocre, simpletons masquerading as people!
Even common sense dies here
Imagine...
So because I eat Titus Fish and take vitamin C, I am going to hell?
Jesus pls come, I'm sick and tired!
Which hell is worse than Nigeria
If there's another hell...We will survive it
Las las we will burn o, but we will be alright!
I need a poetic ending too.
Las las, we will burn but we will be alright.
Saved from the gutters!
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
Authorpreneur

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