The average Nigerian pastor, average being the word, doesn't need to be smart anymore.
He or she isn't a hypnotical maverick or a genius.
The pastor is just at the right place with the right crowd.
Every church deserves the pastor they get!
Just like every woman deserves the man they marry.
The pastor who impregnated 20 women, the ones that are published, because I am very sure there are more if a proper investigation is carried out.
He didn't rape them
He didn't force or hypnotize them.
He is not even a poet, so we can't say he was so poetic and romantic they fell for his charms.
He is not handsome, neither does he have six packs.
So you begin to wonder the allure, the charm, the attraction!
This level of bravado is not Holy Spirit inspired.
It is ignorance on fire!
Nigeria has degenerated to that state where carrying a conversation is as hard or even harder than a bricklayers job.
It's easier carrying a bag of cement with your tongue than having a decent, healthy and exciting conversation..., especially with the opposite sex.
No one can really match you wit for wit, humor for humor, class for class.
Very few are actually breathing fresh air.
Some are gulping stupidity as oxygen.
Guess where they get the air from?
The church!
Those that are regular and consistent churchgoers are usually the easiest, simple and stupid.
Because they are high on the air they breathe...The one the pastors release and make them inhale till they become faith fools and junkies.
We are underdeveloped for a reason
Not because we are black
Or in Africa
We are underdeveloped because we believe a snake can swallow millions of naira.
And eating Titus fish and vitamin C will take us to hell.
Third world country, third world class and third world thinking.
We are in awe of the office of the pastor.
We want a prophecy.
We want to see the future.
We want to be rich.
We want to be married to a God fearing rich man!
We want a child.
We don't want to die.
So we worship the pastor and call his wife mummy.
We dare not interrupt nor question him.
Who are you!
We can't even look him in the eyes.
He is no more a man!
So he grows even more powerful than God!
He calls you, with all your degrees and certificates, he commands you to come and see him in a hotel, and you go, the irony is, you even pay for the room he uses to fuck you, sometimes it's done behind the bush or near the river.
The Sex is shitty, your husband is probably better but because it is your pastor, you stand in awe of his prowess.
You reverence his dick!
So he gets away with one, then two and three, until he has slept with 20 women in the church.
Choristers, women's group, teenagers and married women fellowship members.
His cock is a mantle everybody must reverence no matter the size of it, no matter how small it is, it must be big because it is your pastor's cock.
The cock that tells the bull stories!
You are deluded by the mantle he possesses which in reality, is no more expensive than one roasted corn.
For years some group of people refused to be fashionable, neat and simply fine because someone told them it's a sin to wear new shoes and clothes.
Or watch TV!!!
Today people still don't wear trousers because according to them, it is meant and made for men!
How can you have a conversation with someone who believes in this 21st century that wearing trouser, wigs, makeup, and earrings is a sin?
I can't even be friends with such mediocrity, such as commonplace fanaticism, and intellectual ordinariness.
A mind that lacks inspiration for common sense, such passableness is a crime.
To be this way in a world where machines fly and we can drive without driving.
Yet one simpleton thinks God will frown because you wore jeans...I laugh yet I cry for my fellow countrymen and women.
I tell you, we deserve the pastor and president we get!
We are so third world even our mentality is third class!
It's arousing to this pastors. The ignorance is intoxicating.
The Godlike feeling they wield!
There are no penalty's anymore, just play as rough as you want.
It's open sesame in Nigeria!
To wake up in the Morning and know where your next meal and sex is coming from, without having to think or work for it!
The allure of choice and drama!
The drive to orgasm starts the second they wake up.
This level of supernatural needs no creativity nor innovation.
No art, no craft.
Just preach the word to your small world.
And tell simple minded people to stop eating fish and kiss you in the mouth in front of your wife and members, nay sheep.
The Good Shepherd!
Just tell the woman looking for a child anything, tell her she should lie down while you cuddle her and massage your erection on her buttocks on live TV.
Just tell the men to squat while you climb them because you are too holy to walk.
Tell your members to eat grass, drink bleach, wash your legs on their head, stop eating sardines and lastly... Tell them if they call the name of God during sex they will go to hell.
They will believe and obey.
They are that small.
They are too poor to think.
Too scared to question.
Too tired and lazy to work.
And too stupid to be aware and be enlightened.
The only victim here are the pastors... Lol
Imagine what they must go through every day.
The shock they must feel wondering how anyone can be so stupid to believe them.
They are the victims.
There is no trying to make sense of this.
I stopped trying to make sense of these things a long time ago, it helped me keep my sanity.
You will run mad trying to figure it out.
Las las it will still continue again and again and again.
Tomorrow one pastor will rape his rich sheep's teenage daughter whom they sent to him for deliverance.
There is no supernatural meaning to this.
No mystery.
It's just sexual orgy clothed with the scripture.
It's a different kind of porn, Christian porn.
Just a cock telling cows and bull stories.
No more, no less.
The end.
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
Authorpreneur
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