She was beautiful.
The kind of beauty that was pleasant to behold.
That made you smile by just being in close proximity.
Sitting next to her was purely serendipitous.
I was supposed to sit at the back where I loved, but I was pushed hard by an older man who wanted the spot more than I did.
I was too disgusted to sit anywhere I could see him, so I chose the front roll where my eyes wouldn't locate him.
And that was how fate made my trip colorful
"Excuse me, do you have change?"
I heard the most beautiful voice ask..soft and gentle and even though I didn't and knew I didn't have change, I still said..."hold on let me check. I should have one somewhere." I said with a smile.
She was petite, if you don't observe closely, you would mistake her for a child but this was no child.
Her breasts were well developed and you could see womanhood in her eyes and her iPhone X..no child will own that phone, that phone makes maturity of us all.
So finally, I looked at her and said, "I'm sorry I don't have...I almost begged for her forgiveness for not having change, thank God my sense was still working...so I continued...but don't worry, I also need change so I'll just pay for the both of us."
"No, please, she said...I don't wanna be a bother. I have money but it's N1000 and I don't want...she now leaned closer, not in a flirtatious manner, but you know some people are just, well, jovial and open to a fault and I bet she was one of those... So she leaned in and whispered out... I don't want this horrible Lagos conductors to start being dramatic because I don't have N50 and I'm giving N1000."
As we both laughed, I heard a fierce shrieking voice that startled the Jesus out of me.
"Hey, is she your mate, ehh..you won't leave all this small girls alone, why are yo disturbing the lady!"
I froze in my seat..some how without turning around I knew that this tirade was directed at me.
The voice continued and this time I turned and it was a lady, from the look of it, she should be in her late thirties but poverty and Nigeria made her look ten years, no, fifteen years older than her age.
"Leave her alone, find your size and mate..useless thing "
"Mama, wetin concern you," the conductor replied laughing and immediately the girl leaned closer to me and placed her head on my shoulders, leaning closely she whispered... "Just play along."
I thought such things only happened in Bollywood, I don't watch Nigerian movies so I don't know what happens in that pitiful industry that would make a young lady immerse herself in dirty gutter water this 21st century, because they wanna shoot a movie nobody will see.
A topic for another day..
So immediately, I smiled and laughed and toyed with her hair, to the anger and shock of the woman but amusement of the entire bus.
"Madam, my partner in crime finally said.. Is it your business..why won't you allow me and my new boyfriend be, did I complain...busy body." Then she sighed the longest sigh I have ever heard.
"If you insult me again I will slap..I didn't allow her finish.
"Slap her and die.. Old hag" I said with so much confidence, I felt like John snow with my khalesi..
"Madam do you want to join?" She asked snuggling closer to me as the passengers and conductors laughed and made more noise.
The driver shouted, "wetin dey happen for my bus!"
Some in support, others against...but who cares.
"I don't mind threesome, I love sharing" I said to the woman and winked.
She almost spat at me, but who cares.
Some how, married women or mother's, feel that this new status gives them supreme wisdom and authority we, singles don't have... It doesn't matter whether the marriage is a happy Union or a despicable one...some how, once you are married you belong to the avengers club... The league of extraordinary humans.
When was the last time you kissed, like French kiss your husband or even your husband kissed you?
Deep down, you reminisce and wish you were young again, right?
You probably married as a virgin and realized, everything was just vanity.
Your virginity didn't make your man stay loyal or faithful.
He probably sleeps with younger women and house helps, so you think every man out there is your husband.
You see a piece of your husband in every man or boy.
You see a piece or trash in every male body
Then you lash out on men since you can't do it to your husband.
Because he will Mike Tyson you!
Till you Buhari out!
You bragged with your friends about how you were gonna save your Virginity, wrap it up in silk and ribbon, then place it on the feet of your husband on your wedding night.
After a month you realize it didn't mean shit.
You gave a bone to a goat.
While he complained you were too stiff and too rigid in bed.
He got satisfaction from your housemaid, the on you subjected to sleeping on the kitchen floor and denying her dinner, because she forgot to do what you couldn't do in her age, or what you can't send your daughters to do.
While he complained you were too fat after your first child.
He got satisfaction from your plus size single working class neighbour, fresh out of school.
Remember the friend you gossiped and laughed with your friends when you found out she was not a virgin like you, you even reported her to your pastor and she was kicked out of the choir....well she lives abroad now with her foreign boyfriend and has twins... They are both living the life, unmarried but happy and successful.
The man you saved your dignity for, is slowly driving you to insanity.
The man you paused your life and goals for, his dreams and ambition costs less than your okrika bra and pants.
This is the man you chose to live for?
One whose live isn't even worth a loaf of bread.
This is the one you died for?
One whose existence isn't worth a pinch of salt.
"Lemme have your number please" I whispered into her ears.
"Ikeja along dey?" the conductor hollered in their usual conductors voice.
"Owa o, she said to the conductor...then turned to me, smiled and whispered..."Thanks for paying but sorry, I don't give out my number to strangers."
She winked and got down, but that was the sweetest rejection ever. O Boy, what a ride! Ride like Jollof.
I smiled till I got to my bus stop and as I dropped, the old hag climbed down with me.
Oh shit, we were actually heading to the same destination.
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
Authorpreneur
www.ofunneceo.blogspot.com
The kind of beauty that was pleasant to behold.
That made you smile by just being in close proximity.
Sitting next to her was purely serendipitous.
I was supposed to sit at the back where I loved, but I was pushed hard by an older man who wanted the spot more than I did.
I was too disgusted to sit anywhere I could see him, so I chose the front roll where my eyes wouldn't locate him.
And that was how fate made my trip colorful
"Excuse me, do you have change?"
I heard the most beautiful voice ask..soft and gentle and even though I didn't and knew I didn't have change, I still said..."hold on let me check. I should have one somewhere." I said with a smile.
She was petite, if you don't observe closely, you would mistake her for a child but this was no child.
Her breasts were well developed and you could see womanhood in her eyes and her iPhone X..no child will own that phone, that phone makes maturity of us all.
So finally, I looked at her and said, "I'm sorry I don't have...I almost begged for her forgiveness for not having change, thank God my sense was still working...so I continued...but don't worry, I also need change so I'll just pay for the both of us."
"No, please, she said...I don't wanna be a bother. I have money but it's N1000 and I don't want...she now leaned closer, not in a flirtatious manner, but you know some people are just, well, jovial and open to a fault and I bet she was one of those... So she leaned in and whispered out... I don't want this horrible Lagos conductors to start being dramatic because I don't have N50 and I'm giving N1000."
As we both laughed, I heard a fierce shrieking voice that startled the Jesus out of me.
"Hey, is she your mate, ehh..you won't leave all this small girls alone, why are yo disturbing the lady!"
I froze in my seat..some how without turning around I knew that this tirade was directed at me.
The voice continued and this time I turned and it was a lady, from the look of it, she should be in her late thirties but poverty and Nigeria made her look ten years, no, fifteen years older than her age.
"Leave her alone, find your size and mate..useless thing "
"Mama, wetin concern you," the conductor replied laughing and immediately the girl leaned closer to me and placed her head on my shoulders, leaning closely she whispered... "Just play along."
I thought such things only happened in Bollywood, I don't watch Nigerian movies so I don't know what happens in that pitiful industry that would make a young lady immerse herself in dirty gutter water this 21st century, because they wanna shoot a movie nobody will see.
A topic for another day..
So immediately, I smiled and laughed and toyed with her hair, to the anger and shock of the woman but amusement of the entire bus.
"Madam, my partner in crime finally said.. Is it your business..why won't you allow me and my new boyfriend be, did I complain...busy body." Then she sighed the longest sigh I have ever heard.
"If you insult me again I will slap..I didn't allow her finish.
"Slap her and die.. Old hag" I said with so much confidence, I felt like John snow with my khalesi..
"Madam do you want to join?" She asked snuggling closer to me as the passengers and conductors laughed and made more noise.
The driver shouted, "wetin dey happen for my bus!"
Some in support, others against...but who cares.
"I don't mind threesome, I love sharing" I said to the woman and winked.
She almost spat at me, but who cares.
Some how, married women or mother's, feel that this new status gives them supreme wisdom and authority we, singles don't have... It doesn't matter whether the marriage is a happy Union or a despicable one...some how, once you are married you belong to the avengers club... The league of extraordinary humans.
When was the last time you kissed, like French kiss your husband or even your husband kissed you?
Deep down, you reminisce and wish you were young again, right?
You probably married as a virgin and realized, everything was just vanity.
Your virginity didn't make your man stay loyal or faithful.
He probably sleeps with younger women and house helps, so you think every man out there is your husband.
You see a piece of your husband in every man or boy.
You see a piece or trash in every male body
Then you lash out on men since you can't do it to your husband.
Because he will Mike Tyson you!
Till you Buhari out!
You bragged with your friends about how you were gonna save your Virginity, wrap it up in silk and ribbon, then place it on the feet of your husband on your wedding night.
After a month you realize it didn't mean shit.
You gave a bone to a goat.
While he complained you were too stiff and too rigid in bed.
He got satisfaction from your housemaid, the on you subjected to sleeping on the kitchen floor and denying her dinner, because she forgot to do what you couldn't do in her age, or what you can't send your daughters to do.
While he complained you were too fat after your first child.
He got satisfaction from your plus size single working class neighbour, fresh out of school.
Remember the friend you gossiped and laughed with your friends when you found out she was not a virgin like you, you even reported her to your pastor and she was kicked out of the choir....well she lives abroad now with her foreign boyfriend and has twins... They are both living the life, unmarried but happy and successful.
The man you saved your dignity for, is slowly driving you to insanity.
The man you paused your life and goals for, his dreams and ambition costs less than your okrika bra and pants.
This is the man you chose to live for?
One whose live isn't even worth a loaf of bread.
This is the one you died for?
One whose existence isn't worth a pinch of salt.
"Lemme have your number please" I whispered into her ears.
"Ikeja along dey?" the conductor hollered in their usual conductors voice.
"Owa o, she said to the conductor...then turned to me, smiled and whispered..."Thanks for paying but sorry, I don't give out my number to strangers."
She winked and got down, but that was the sweetest rejection ever. O Boy, what a ride! Ride like Jollof.
I smiled till I got to my bus stop and as I dropped, the old hag climbed down with me.
Oh shit, we were actually heading to the same destination.
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
Authorpreneur
www.ofunneceo.blogspot.com
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