There was a knock on the door...
Immediately, I knew it was her
We met in a porn group I was addicted to
One of several
I had been chatting with her for months now and we had agreed to finally meet.
We have had several sex chats
Exchanged nudes on several occasions
She had promised me a good time
For the first time she was visiting, and I had my room made up especially for this occasion.
It was a culture for me, each time I had one of such dates, I cleared the coast and calmed the waters.
A day before, I had received a call from home, my father was critically sick.
He had been rushed to the hospitals emergency ward and wasn't responding to treatment.
My ex-girlfriend just got a modeling deal in France, finally, her modeling career which she started as a joke, has finally paid off...I was depressed because I was still a loser, earning 70 grand as a customer call agent for GLO.
My unit head was frustrating my life at work, double checking my every call logs and monitoring my every damn call... I was depressed at the office.
I had no real friends, just drinking and clubbing buddies, but when I needed a loan or a serious-minded conversation or advise, I was always all alone and lonely.
My savings weren't where they were supposed to be, I wanted to leave my current place and find a better accommodation because my landlord was the definition of a demon, but I couldn't because everyday responsibilities kept choking me... I was feeling suffocated.
I had developed a drinking problem, and so I got drunk every night in my room or the bar close to my house... In the morning, I woke with a hangover and terrible headache, and God help me if I was in the morning shift on that day... I was depressed.
So when this Facebook babe said she was coming, I was excited and told my close Friends, the ones who would drink with me but never loan me money or help me overcome grief and depression.
The ones to whom I can't reach out for help when I'm drowning in the deep waters of depression and loneliness.
Well, she came and the second she entered, we were enveloped in a deep kiss.
Clothes flying and shoes dropping.
We kissed so hard and passionately, I immediately unhooked her bra and removed her tank top..sliding my tongue down to her stomach and belly button...
"Ahhh, Tonye, please don't stop, just continue like this...I have been imagining and waiting for this day" she moaned and groaned passionately.
I became erect, carried her up and moved straight to the room
My house was a one bedroom apartment. So I took her to my room, dropped her flat on the neatly arranged bed, and started devouring her nipples one by one.
In a few minutes, I had raised her mini skirt to her stomach, lowered my lips to her vagina, and continued pressing her tits softly.
I had promised to eat and suck her till she screamed and creamed in our sex chats, and a Bob Manuel, always keeps his word.
So I devoured and licked the tip of her labia, she moaned and groaned, groping my neck and pushing my head deeper between her legs, arching her back and raising her lips to meet my tongue, while I dug deeper and faster between her legs...
"Tonye Bob Manuel, please don't you dare stop, don't please..." she whispered and almost sobbed out of intimate pleasure...
In no time, she was wet and juicy.
I stood up, spread her legs wider and positioned myself between her legs, I went in raw and hard...
That was how she said she loved it, it was careless but in this moment, I cared less.
And soon we were both panting and sweating.
After an hour, she got up to go and clean up, minutes later, she was good to go.
I had her cash ready, neatly stacked for her transport and so she promised to come back soon if I invited her...I promised I was gonna and then walked her to the gate to meet the taxify we ordered... I gave her extra cash besides the one I gave her inside and did a mental calculation to check if my budget for the weekend had been exhausted already.
As she drove off inside the car, my neighbors came out and applauded, one idiot even lifted me up...
"Guy you try, the babe fine..well-done son, Daddy's proud of you," he said.
I laughed and punched and then walked back inside my room.
The second I shut my door, I felt it...silence
I waited...absolutely nothing happened!
I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself, I was still the same man, no difference.
I didn't change, didn't grow, didn't add...the experience did nothing to me. I was still the same loser.
My phone beeped and it was my mother, my dad condition had deteriorated. I slumped to the floor and wept. I heard the guys outside dancing and laughing, I wanted to scream at them to shut up or ask for help.
I wanted to call the girl that we just fucked, but I realized I hated her because I felt guilty and terrible, worse, I felt I was broke and giving her extra cash was gonna affect me more...I hated her more.
The experience didn't transform me, it was just sex and there was nothing special in the end.
I was still me.
Still had a shitty job
My dad was still sick
Suddenly, the realization hit me...
Deep down I realized no amount of sex, drinking, pleasures or even women, were ever going to satisfy me.
No amount of women could change me!
12 rounds of sex, couldn't give you 1extra pound of flesh!
I was always going to be empty if I continued on this road.
I picked my phone and called my ex..."Please, I need your help. I heard myself begging. I need to leave this Country too, please, help me Nonye."
Then I deleted all the porn sites on my phone and exited all the adult groups I belonged to.
Growing old is the easier part, it was growing up that was hard. It was time I grew up.
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
Authorpreneur
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