Mother of 38 children appeals for help!
That was the headline
I felt my stomach turn
Not from hunger
But disgust
Anger
Irritation
Why!
Why, Goddammit why!
Why would a woman give birth to 38 children
Why would you do that to your body
Why would you do that to your mind
Why would you do that to yourself
What point are you trying to prove
That you are fertile?
Now you are appealing for help.
Not husband or father of 38 but mother of 38...30 goddamn 8 babies.
Help from who?
When you were spreading your legs and closing your brain you didn't appeal for help.
When you were dropping babies like trash, you didn't appeal for help.
When you were birthing an entire community, you didn't appeal for help.
Now you have brought 38 innocent little children who didn't ask to be born.
Imagine if it was in a country as dysfunctional and useless as Nigeria...
But this was in Uganda, I don't know how bad they have it there, but this is Africa, all of them are bad!
Now, you know you need help?
Help kee you dia!
Then I read and realized she was married off at 12...12 fucking years old. I cried!
We lay too much importance on marriage.
We believe so much in marriage even more than religion.
Infact the average Nigerian woman believes more in the sanctity and institution of marriage, than Christianity or Islam or whatever religion out there.
You go to church to find husband.
You fast and pray to marry.
You go naked by 12am, bathe in the river and end up sleeping with prophet Moses to marry and born children.
You live in church so the right man can find you, and marry you... Not so God can find you, but one drunk, unambitious low life misogynist.
I read the Queen of feminism in Nigeria, our dearly beloved Chimamanda Adiche, when she said the Nigerian girlchild sole aim and purpose is to marry, and I couldn't agree more!
From childhood to adulthood, the girl child is schooled in the art of washing plates, sweeping house, cleaning rooms, cooking food and taking care of man!!!
The cycle of a woman is be born, grow, go to school if you can, marry straight outta college, work if your husband allows it, born plenty children and die!
The End!
Dare you complain and try to change the status quo...just dare to climb out and be free... Family will rise up against you, religion will rise up and fight you, society will ostracize you.
Try divorce or separation, and see how the whole world will turn against you with their bible and pitchforks, all drawing for blood.
You can't just have a relationship in peace again.
Everybody is checking to see if you are husband or wife material.
Your close male friend visits you after so many years absence, your mother and father will hold a meeting, begging you to marry him.
What if you just want sex as a woman?
Is sexual attraction and chemistry a taboo more than polygamy and child marriage?
So what if he is just a friend with benefits, or just a random close friend.
Friends and family, church and community will cult up and pressurize you into husbanding him.
He is nice, handsome, rich and he loves you.
Confusing you to love up, meanwhile both of you share nothing in common beyond platonic friendship.
At the end, you ruin a great friendship with relationship.
Bamboozled into a relationship you didn't plan for or wanted.
The first kiss is bad but you hope.
The sex is bad but you hope.
Then marriage comes next and you realize how big a mistake you made...
You discover the truth too late... As friends, you were great together, but as lovers, you are a disaster.
Suddenly intimacy is out the door.
You just sleep next to each other as strangers.
All the friends and family, pastors and Imams that labelled you both perfect, are suddenly no where to be found.
You are all alone.
You don't talk, you don't kiss, you don't hug, you just have sex once in a blue moon and have plenty children.
Alive outside, dead inside but atleast you are a married woman, so there's that!
You must date to marry else you are wasting your time and your spouses time.
You will see nuggets like, "if you won't wife her don't girlfriend her"... If he can't see you as the mother of his children, he shouldn't use you as wife of the house."
Patriarchalism and Androcentrism at it's peak!
Who told you she wants to be a wife or even marry him?
Who told you she must marry now?
Who told you marriage is the solution?
Can't we just date in peace, without the joy of motherhood and marriage looming above our heads?
Can't we just exist as couples first, without buying into this antiquated tradition called marriage.
Comments
Post a Comment