Your dignity is not inside your vagina
Your dignity is not a private part
Your dignity is not your virginity
Your dignity is not an opportunity..it doesn't go but once
It is a force
It is an idea
It is a belief
It is a motto
It is a stance
It is your personality
Your dignity is your personality, it can't be forced or taken away from you except you give it out.
You alone have the right to give it away.
Yeah I'm not talking about the wretchedness of a country that doesn't value human rights or the dysfunctional state of the institutions saddled with the responsibility of carrying, protecting and upholding our rights but failing like an old warhorse.
I'm talking about taking charge, saying Yes or No, giving your permission and making your damn mind up.
No man can steal your dignity by taking your virginity, your virginity is yours to give not on the altar of marriage to a man whose worth is less than a pinch of salt, I repeat your virginity is not to be given only on the altar of an idea of a man whose reality is a colossal failure and blatant mistake like the country Nigeria.
Your virginity is a decision not a choice, to be given when you are mature enough to be responsible for emotional baggage and psychological warfare.
It is a decision not a choice!
The moment you attain the height of balancing your emotions and your personal life, the moment you reach the age where you understand that sex is not a taboo or the bogeyman that lives in d penis of a man but resides in all of us both you and me, the moment you realize sex is more than being labelled a big girl or a bad girl, the moment you realize sex is more than love making but life creating, the moment you realize sex is more than sheer pleasure then you are ready whether on the altar of marriage or the shrine of relationship...
Sex is a choice, virginity isn't because you were born a virgin, nobody asked for your opinion, you were born a virgin without your consent therefore your dignity cannot be tied to something you didn't know its origin.
Lastly no man has the imagination or will or intelligence to steal or take your dignity, a man that lacks dignity can't identity one if it dances naked in his eyes and shouts, I am dignity!
You had sex because you decided to, if it was forced, it's different and you didn't lose your dignity, infact it is the animal that forced himself on you that lost his dignity and humanity and it has nothing to do with you, you tried fighting but you lost the battle not the war, you won the war when you said no, he forced you because he is an animal and knows he can never be man enough to have you the natural way so he becomes an animal and sells his dignity and humanity as a weakling on the altar of lust and a dark desire bigger than his existence.. But that is for another day.
The sad reality is those ladies who feel losing their virginity means losing their dignity, I got news for you. Your virginity is not between your legs but inside your chest, it is the sound your heart beats to, the rhythm your mind feels to and the music your feelings dances to and the opera only you can direct and lead. You orchestrate that phantom not a man or an art.
It's not for some man whose reality is as dark as the hole between your buttocks to define and refine for you. The man you are saving your dignity for is the same one on his knees with no dignity giving oral sex to a Queen while worshipping at the feet of her seduction. The same man you are aspiring to please is probably forcing himself and losing his humanity, the same illusion of a man you are pausing your happiness and pleasures for is the same one, this very moment is having a blast a threesome and being ontop of the world without even thinking of you yet. What an irony.
Goddammit embrace passion, find intimacy, explore seduction and attraction. Bask in the allure of desire and become the positive object of lust and love, for what is love without passion and what is passion without the sweet and gentle art of love making.
If you must love, love with the throes of passion and desire but if you must wait then wait alone or with one who is willing to wait till the rainy day, one whose principle resonates with yours but don't date a sexually active man and live in the illusion that he won't want sex.
Don't date the proverbial bad boy if you are a supposedly good girl and think he won't roar when you meow.
If you must save your virginity, do so with pride and honor, if it's on the basis of religion, let it be, if it's on the basis of tradition, let it be...but if it's because of a man you haven't met yet.....It is better you decide to embrace intimacy while you can afford the luxury of options than deny yourself happiness and wait for an illusion of a man whose coming would bring eternal marital pain and sorrow to you and your unborn children.
Your dignity is not between your legs, neither is what lies between the legs of a man you have never met yet, a bank where you save your dignity.
It's a penis not a bank of dignity.
It is between your strides, the confidence in the click of your heels.
Your husband is just a man with a wedding ring not a superman with no sin nor past. If you must save your virginity, save it for the most important person in the world.... YOU, YOURSELF and YOURS TRULY!
We lack the yin for love. We lack the yan for passion!
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
Authorpreneur
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