"Kingdavid!"
"Your daughter cannot boil yam, she just burnt it..ordinary yam she cannot boil, what kind of woman is she growing up to be and which man will want to marry her?"
My father screamed at me when I travelled home to Port Harcourt this Xmas.
"Papa, teach her or do it yourself. I'm not training my child to cook for a man or to be a world class chef!
I'm training her to be world class citizen, a powerful woman, a woman of class and style, a woman of standard not a kitchen woman."
"If she is all these things and cannot cook don't you know she will be an embarrassment to her husband or partner.. Eh..Chinna!" Chinna is short for Chinaeke, my native name.
My father continued.
"What if she marries a president or a governor or maybe a senator, how do you think the husband will feel when they have big men and statesmen coming to the house and his wife cannot cook? Oya answer, English man, how will the wife of a Governor or Ambassador cope if she can't even boil yam?" My father asked sternly.
Without even giving it a second thought, I replied... "By being a President or a Governor Papa. I'll teach my daughter to aspire to be a President, Governor or a senator and not just the wife of one. If her brothers can dream to be Presidents and senators my daughters will dream to be one too not just their wives, and when she grows up, I'll tell her to make sure she marries a man that can cook and handle the home in her absence and not a lazy spoilt man child who needs a mummy not a wife.
I was in my moment so I stood up and hovered over my father while he sat cross legged, in that old fashioned style of his I remember very well growing up watching and listening to him.
"You should be more concerned with how her grades are in school, what position she is coming in class, her average and her mental and psychological well-being and not whether she can fry plantain or boil yam for one useless boy or husband whose parents right now are not concerned about his home training or whether he can be a good husband for his wife but basking in the glory of having a son, a male heir even if he is a simpleton."
"Zarra dear" I called my 14 years old daughter.
"Yes King" she replied. Yes she addresses me by my name whenever she wants.
"Put the water in the pot, heat for some minutes and add your yam inside then leave for some minutes, add salt if you like and it's done. That's how to boil yam."
"Thank you Kings." She said and from that day, she was an expert at boiling yam.
How long did it take me to teach her, it didn't even take me 5 minutes to school her in the art of boiling yam, I mean yam that even without my teaching, she will still learn by default when hunger has taught her a lesson.
You can teach a girl child to boil yam, fry plantain and cook beans in five minutes and it will never improve her life more than satisfying one half wit husband who doesn't think beyond his belly and manhood.
What should bother you is how to teach her to outsmart those who are trying to limit and restrict her potential beyond having breasts and pussy, teach her to walk like a Queen, act like a Queen, think like a Queen and be a Queen.
Teach her values, teach her goals, teach her science too not just silence, teach her STEM education not just agriculture, teach her robotics and mathematics not just home economics and commerce, teach her income yes income, she too can generate income not just consume it, teach her to use her head not just give a head because the men are not being taught to use theirs after all, they have a manhood!
Give the Girl child a good childhood and not motherhood so she doesn't end up on a manhood.
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
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