Campus Series

Back in the day, my university days to be precise when I had this girlfriend that just gained admission with me.

We were both in our 100 level and love was shacking us so much

It took me two years later to realize it wasn't love that was shacking us back then, it was freedom and independence from our respective homes

We just tasted freedom and it was intoxicating

In my lodge, there was this final year Linguistics student in his 400 level

A yahoo boy by all standards

His name was Ezekiel

He kept dreds, wore earrings and dressed like a New York gangster

All the decent and church-attending young guys despised him

All the churchy sisters despised him...

Openly of course, at night I assumed they dreamt of him and longed to have him

Two deeper life sisters, one a chorister and the other, a prayer warrior, tried to evangelize and win his soul.

Months later, they both fought and tore their clothes, revealing their panties and undies in the process

He was dating both of them and they just found out. So the rumors went.

The guy simply laughed and entered his car, leaving both girls fighting to the amusement of the lodge students.

What a guy!!!

Anyway, whenever my girlfriend visited me, she was always bad-mouthing Ezekiel, especially when different girls left his house, each never meeting the other

Every night, a new girl came, and as soon as she left, another would return

Guys were a constant. He rolled with all kinds of guys.

Many of them wanted to be his friend and paddy.

The reason wasn't farfetched.

The guy was a God amongst student and he had lots of money to throw around

"God forbid, I hate this boy." She would say. "Look at his hair, imagine a guy wearing earrings, what would his parents say?" Antonia, my girlfriend would ask

This was around 2007, then yahoo plus wasn't as popular as it is now, so guys were still pressing computer without staining their hands with blood and SARS were invisible.

"I pity girls who fall for this dog. What do girls even want, can't they see that he is just using them." I would add.

"Girls are so stupid, only a useless and loose girl will fall for this animal. In fact, if he is the last boy on earth, I would never marry."
My girlfriend would add.

Inside me, I felt relieved because my friends in the compound were scared to invite their girlfriends, already he had slept with the girlfriends of two guys in the compound or so the story went

He was notorious for his promiscuity.

Two weeks later, on a Friday, my girlfriend called and asked if I was home, I was still in class so I told her to wait as I intended to skip the next class just to be with her. She just returned from her parents' house and I had missed her.

I didn't know my lecturer had an agreement with the lecturer for the next class, to handle both classes. He didn't inform us either, so as his class ended he continued.
Barring us from leaving.

I got home two hours later and saw Ezekiel and my girlfriend gisting and laughing like best friends downstairs.

My mouth almost dropped on the ground.

"Hey Dave, wassup bro, how was classes." He asked cheerfully.

"Fine," I muttered. "Tonia, upstairs now."
I ordered.

"Hey, C'mon that was rude." She told me when we were inside my room and I sat on the bed fuming with rage.

"Rude, I don't understand, are you speaking up for that dog?" I whispered.

"Don't call him that, he's actually a nice guy." she smiled and sat down on my legs, rubbing my chest.

"I thought you hated the guy," I asked still confused.

"When? I never hated him o, I only hated his character but today I saw a different side, I think he can change, I think I can change him."

Whosaa!!! I slapped her right in the face. "Have you gone insane woman...are you God that changes people or are you the second Bulgari?" I asked angrily

"You slapped me... No man has ever slapped me before. I'm sorry my love, forgive me, I won't change him, I hate him, I hate him so much" she pleaded in shock.

"I am not any man, I am your boyfriend and I will kill you if I hear you say such abomination again."

"Sweety, did you hear me, I said I might be able to change him." Tonia shook me awake from my daydreaming.

The slap was in my mind, I had imagined it, but no matter how disgusted and angry I was at that moment, I had never hit a girl before and I wasn't gonna start today.

I looked at her and said, "I bet that was the exact thing Ezinne the prayer warrior that attends deeper life and Uzoma the chorister said. In fact, I'm sure they almost succeeded in changing him before he changed them." I said with so much sarcasm she got up angrily from my legs.

"Are you saying I'm cheap like them, pls don't insult me. In fact I'm leaving, I regret coming here and waiting for you for 2 hours."
She angrily left my room and I didn't even call her back because I was so upset.

That evening I traveled without informing my babe. It was on Sunday my friend and neighbor, Bright, called and dropped a bombshell.

"Davo, I just see Tonia dey enter Ezekiel room now now." Bright said

"God forbid, you no see well" I challenged

"Wait, Peter dey here, I call am to come look because I know say you no go believe." Peter, was one of the guys Ezekiel slept with his girlfriend.

"I see her with my two korokoro eyes my guy, sorry eh...I know how you dey feel now. Peter confirmed.

"Una dey lie, I say una dey lie, not my Tonia, never, not my Tonia!" I shouted in the toilet where I received the calls.

"David, are you alright." my mother called from the sitting room. Who's Tonia?"

"Mummy he's a footballer, we are discussing football. " I replied.

Peter continued. "We know say you go still doubt, okay, John dey here, oya John, tell am."

John was our lodge pastor, the perfect gentleman. He didn't smoke, drink or clubbed. He didn't even cheat in exams, in fact rumor had it that he was a virgin and so whatever he said was bound to be the truth.

We even placed a bet about his virginity, I betted #5,000 that he wasn't and my friends all said he was.

"John, na true?" I asked, almost crying.

He heaved a sigh and then breathed very long, then replied.

"I'm afraid it's the gospel truth, they are inside now and we can hear some suspicious sounds coming From Inside," John said sadly

"Describe the sound, tell me the exact sound she is making," I begged

"Please I can't do that, it's against my faith." he ended the call.

I screamed and ran out of the bathroom, my mum asked me what the matter was and I told her I just found out we have a test to write first thing in the morning and I needed to be in school.

My house wasn't too far from my school, and so I took a bike to the park and in no time I was in school. It took me 30 minutes to get to school and another 5 minutes to get to my lodge.

I went straight to my room, my guys were so shocked and then they confirmed my babe was still there and so stealthily, like a cat I went to Ezekiel's room.

I peeped and saw clothes scattered, bra here, pants there, I was shaking, I listened closely and heard Tonia giggling and moaning.

I used to be a bad boy, I could pick a lock with any sharp long object and so I used this needle ladies used to weave which belongs to my mum and soon, I picked the guys lock.

Viola!!!

What I saw next shocked me!!!!

Ezekiel was putting on a red bra and a red G-string

My girlfriend was on her bum shorts and a crop top

"What the hell is going on here," I asked puzzled

They were both shocked, and then with the speed of lightning, Antonia quickly dashed for the door and locked it

"Antonia if you don't tell me what this is now, I will do something crazy right now." I thundered

Ezekiel stood still like a statue, rooted to the spot. I had never seen him this vulnerable and I almost pitied him but given the circumstances...

"It's not what you think Dave," Antonia said

"Tell me what I'm not thinking then," I said coldly

She looked at Ezekiel and he nodded

"Ezekiel is gay," she said

"What? Do you think I'm stupid...what the bloody hell do you mean?" a wave of relief and fear washed over me at the same time, confusing yet calming me down.

"Shut up Dave, I said he is gay don't you know what gay means and keep your voice down." she scolded

How she suddenly turned from the guilty party to the victim was something I never could explain.

Apparently, Ezekiel is gay and he puts up the playboy character to hide his true nature and throw people off guard.

The girls that visited him were also gay's and they all belonged to a group on Campus, more secretive than the secret cults.

They usually visited him just to keep tongues wagging and keep up appearances for Ezekiel, whose parents were devout catholic, in fact his father was a very rich and powerful businessman, who was also a knight in church and a respectable servant of God, while his mother was the women's leader in Church and a senior executive in one of the first generation banks.

This explained his money, he wasn't actually a yahoo boy, his parents were loaded and he was also into forex. Boy was a genius!

His sexuality was a death sentence to him if word got out, and considering how rich he is and how generous and benevolent he was to the gay group on campus, they were willing to do anything for their star boy.

"But what about the deeper life girls who fought for you," I asked, stretching on the bed and drinking the juice with biscuits I was offered several minutes later.

"I paid them. They don't know I'm gay, I only offered to pay them for the act, well they are theatre arts students so they obliged, and guy, you would be surprised what these church girls can do for money."

We all laughed

"And the compound guys you allegedly slept with their babes?" I asked again.

"That was easy, I actually slept with them. I had anal with both, I did those guys a favor, those girls were just after the money and your boys were no match for their ambitions.

My biscuit dropped from my mouth.

Then Tonia Turned to me and said, "I'm sorry I walked out on you on Friday."

I had to apologize back or we would fight, so I smiled and said..."I'm sorry I suspected you of cheating on me."

"Baby, I'm allergic to other men and addicted to you only."

"Wow...how Romantic!" Ezekiel clapped and danced around like a girl.

God... He was really gay... I thought to myself.

"OK love, one last thing, I promised Ezekiel I was gonna be his bestie and look out for him, so you have to pretend like you caught me and him together so your friends won't suspect," Antonia said

"Dear, I am a man and it is an abomination, I would rather he got exposed than be the laughing stock of my friends if they believe you actually cheated on me with Ezekiel."

Three days later, I traveled and came back unannounced in the middle of the night, I opened the door with my spare key having given Antonia my keys thinking I was gonna be away for two weeks... On my bed, Antonia slept naked peacefully beside John, the lodge pastor who also was stark naked too with my towel on the floor beside him and some used condoms, two actually...

I found out that night that he wasn't a virgin after all.

Even though I lost my girl, well, at least I won the bet.

After women, fear campus pastors!

The End

Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne