Brown Skin Bish

I was in this popular small yellow bus, that carried three per row instead of the regular four or sometimes five passengers, heading to work on a Monday morning and beside me sat this pretty, sexy looking young brown-skin girl.

Eyes like emerald, hair like silk and skin so soft I imagined it will melt like butter in my tongue and brethren, she smelled like Christmas morning too...

But her attitude, without exchanging words, I could sense an arrogant and rude presence around her and so my antenna shot up.

I sat by the window to my left, another young Lady sat close to the door and miss pretty face and ugly attitude sat in our middle.

During the short trip, I noticed she cringed each time the bus hit a bump and our bodies touched, like seriously, she actually cringed on every body contact.

And there were numerous bumps, that amounted to numerous cringes and nose squeezes in open disgust.

The first time I noticed, I and the other young lady to her right locked gaze, first in amazement then slowly in humor and so like comrades in battle, with no words exchanged, just an eye contact and a common enemy, we smiled a mock smile and looked on ahead...

Pyschos everywhere right, not all in the street and not all are ugly and dirty.

So I put on my earpiece to block the stench of her dirty attitude. Nothing and nobody was gonna steal my Monday morning mood and vibe, even if you had a pretty face, short gown and beautiful hot legs.

Close to where I was supposed to alight, we hit a major bump and she muttered something that made my partner and comrade to her right make a disgusting face, I wasn't gonna get involved, no offence to my new found partner, but I am the chief CEO of minding your business, not until miss pretty face and nasty attitude tapped me...this was my moment to pay her back in her own coin, so with slow motion Hollywood action move, I took my gospel time and removed one ear then very slowly and with an air of impatience and irritation, raised my earbrow to her, no words but she understood it meant...what?

''Please stop touching me.'' She said in the most angelic voice I have ever heard. It was soft but heard by every passenger in the bus, even the driver turned and smiled sheepishly while the passengers all sighed because, well...everyone hates slay queens with stupid attitudes and that's the vibe she oozed from the second she entered the bus.

''Imagine.'' My partner in crime to the right muttered loud enough to be heard.

In that split second, I placed my right hand on her shoulder, the move shocked her, but she didn't know I had more coming, then before she could recover from the shock, I gave her a big hug and everyone in the bus bursted out in laughter.

Then I disengaged from her and said loud enough, stupid dumbass, touching is unavoidable in this closed space.

''Berger dey!'' The driver shouted as we got to my bus stop amidst the laughter. I had done my calculation in that split second before making that move.

''Owa o'' I said and as I dropped from the bus, my partner in crime raised her hand for a high five, then I looked her deep in her eyes, put my hands in my pocket and walked away... I snubbed the innocent girl just for the fun of it.

We are all mad in this country I swear.

Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne

Authorpreneur

www.ofunneceo.blogspot.com