Today in the office my girlfriend came to see me and I told the security man to kick her out, because she was a thief.
You see my girlfriend is very intelligent, super intelligent, the kind The CIA and FBI are looking for. Besides her super intelligence, she is everything every man wants and every women wishes to have and every mother wants for her son while every father lusts and wants in a wife. That being said, she is the epitome of distinction and class, a compilation of silver linings pieces together perfection by perfection and made to stand like a glass, when still she reflects power and class, transparent for all to see while mirroring perfection in human form but when broken she is fatal and dangerous still.
She is tall, gorgeous, perfectly toned skin that shines bright like a diamond especially under the sun and glitters like emeralds. Imagine a piece of glass at night floating on-top the still dark water, you know how it sparks in the darkness around, well that's how her skin glows and I'm not exaggerating infact this description is underrated, imagine dying and going to heaven, you see how the streets of heaven are paved and lined with gold and silver with the angels flying and playing harp, yes that's how her skin shines, yes that is it.
Now her back is round, not the normal round that you draw as a circle but the kind that can transform from circle to oval, the kind that looks like a cone from afar but when you come close it transforms like a butterfly from larvae stage to full adult stage, it now looks like an apple, I tell you not even Joseph can resist a bite.
That is how the buttocks and the hips adjoined to it on the waist looks, well structured and arranged like cup on a saucer, when she moves nothing moves again, when she shakes the earth stops rotating, it stays still to watch and stare at her waist.
Is it her breasts, trust me you don't want me to even go there, because if I start, the kind of harmattan that the Northerners experience and we here in the East and West doesn't experience again will come upon you suddenly and light will envelop you because of the mere thought of those wonderful and perfectly placed pair of breasts resting on her chests.
"Oga wetin she thief?" The security man asked.
"My heart, she stole my heart." I said.
"Madam abeg stop there. Oga say make you no enter. The security man ordered her.
"What, but why?" She said.
"You be thief o, you thief im heart abeg go before you steal our own too." He said.
"You are a Stupid boy," she said smiling, "Is the MD in yet?" She asked.
"No my love he hasn't come in yet. I said smiling and adjusting my uniform. Come in and give me a kiss before you go to your office." I said laughing sheepishly.
She loves when I play act, when I play the role of both the security and the boss, she loves it but only when we are alone. My mind drifted to how we met, it was a classic tale of Cinderella and the Charming Prince only in this case, I was Cinderella and she was the Prince. She saved me from depression and poverty, just when I was about giving up my search for any job at all to help me save enough money and process my visa out of this God forsaking country, I got the link from a good friend and applied for the role of a security man, usually they go through recognized agents but my friend pulled some strings and this is Nigeria happened, viola! I got the job as a security man. A graduate, but what can I do, I needed the money and it was temporary or so I taught until I saw her drive in to work and then plans changed.
Naturally I wouldn't have aspired to such lofty dreams but giving the circumstances, I considered myself beyond lucky, even my friend called me mad but after few conversations and some attitude issues, she was curious as to why a decent and well articulated young man worked as a glorified gateman and now here we are today, dating but secretly as it was against company's policy for colleagues to engage in office intimacy and romance even though almost every one indulged in it but if you are caught, you are made a scapegoat.
"Alright honey just a quick one." She hurriedly entered my security post and gave me a kiss. "Now stop talking to yourself and acting drama ok, don't worry my love, one day you will become the Oga you are play acting you hear?" Then she touched my cheek and gave me that look..."Just remember our plan and stick to it, okay honey?"
"Yes honey I know." I smiled with pride as my girlfriend the project manager of the company I worked as a security man walked like a Queen with her shoulders raised high, into the office, the very one we were both trying to rob and elope out of the Miserable country.
Yes she is a thief and so am I in some few weeks anyways if the plan goes according to plan, the plan where I help her gain entrance to the company since I have access always while she takes what's rightfully hers and ours and then we elope together. It has to work, like I said she is super smart and has it all planned down to the last details especially since the Boss is her sugar daddy.
Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
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